My Life

Does anyone want to explain to me the point of MyLife.com? I just saw a commercial on TV for this unheard of social networking site. The commercial went something like this: "Announcer: See how many people are searching for you online! Attractive lady, with extreme surprise: I have seven people searching online for me? Seven?!"
I mean, why don't they all just get on facebook and find each other?
Additionally, after our discussion on social networking, I don't think we should be rushing to add another site to our collection.

Distractions from the Spirit

We had stake conference this weekend. At the adult session, our stake president reminded us to be careful of our media use during sacrament meeting. He made the good point that even if we have our scriptures on our phones (or Ipads or whatever), we don't need to use our scriptures in sacrament meeting! Anyway, it was the usual media distracts from the spirit etc etc, you know... good stuff. But then he announced that we were going to have a question and answer session and wrote a cell-phone number and email address on the board for us to send questions to. So we all pulled out our phones and ipads and assorted media items and... I was amused :)
that's all :)

Concubines

My husband's two younger brothers are over today, and right now they're playing NCAA football on the PlayStation. Paul (11) is doing that thing that kids always do: singing one line of a song over and over again. It was a song I'd never heard; kind of catchy, but I would have preferred more than one line. In any case, the tune was so upbeat it took me a minute to realize just exactly what the lyrics were:
"All the other kids with the pumped out kicks, better run, better run.... faster then my bullet".
What the heck? Did I mishear? Is my 11 year old brother-in-law actually singing a song about kids shooting other kids? Does he understand what the lyrics are? I asked him what the song was, and Stephen (14) said it was a song about the Concubine Shootings. Unfortunately, because this caused some unintentional laughter from my husband and me, I had to explain exactly what concubines were. But in any case.... wow. I just not that sure what to think about a top 40s pop song detailing the Columbine shootings, especially one with such a misleadingly upbeat feel.

Here's the lyrics, in case anyone's interested:
Robert's got a quick hand
He'll look around the room
He won't tell you his plan
He's got a rolled cigarette hanging out his mouth
He's a cowboy kid
Yeah, he found a six-shooter gun
In his dad's closet hidden in a box of fun things
And I don't even know what
But he's coming for you, yeah, he's coming for you

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet

Daddy works a long day
He be coming home late, yeah, he's coming home late
And he's bringing me a surprise
Because dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice
I've waited for a long time
Yeah, the slight of my hand is now a quick pull trigger
I reason with my cigarette
And say your hair's on fire
You must have lost your wits, yeah

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet

P.S My husband is going to make one good dad. They are out tossing the ball to each other right now, and I love to see how well he interacts with his brothers :)

Proof that people on the internet are all idiots....

So the other day I was doing that whole looking-up-recipes-for-barbeque-chicken-for-dinner-and-click-on-an-interesting-looking-link-and-end-up-reading-random-articles-online-while-I'm-supposed-to-be-doing-homework thing (You know that thing, right?) and I discovered that all people who post on the internet are idiots. This is how it went down....
The article, entitled "The Great Spanking Debate", was on the site of a popular parenting magazine. I found the article to be surprisingly... intelligent and non-sensationalist (especially for a parenting magazine that also runs columns on how to tell which Glee character you child is most like, and how to dress them accordingly). In fact, it seemed to be a completely accurate representation of the all the research I've studied here at BYU (a rarity in the Media!). Here's the basic sum up:

• When we refer to spanking, we are not referring to abuse of any kind (which is, of course, universally accepted as wrong). Although often not the case, spanking can be performed in a calm and rational manner.
• However, The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Medical Association, the American Bar Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry all urge parents not to spank in any form, in any circumstances. Their conclusions are based off decades of careful research showing a higher risk for negative outcomes across all cultures and circumstances.
• Not all people who were spanked show negative outcomes (such is the nature of development sciences) but the higher risks are real and cannot be dismissed.
• Additionally, spanking doesn't even work. Spanking is effective only if your only goal is to have your child stop doing a certain behavior in your presence. It does not help kids internalize the things you want to teach them, and it does not help behave when you are not there. It can solve short term problems, but will create long term ones.
• Not spanking your kids does not equate to overindulgent, permissive parenting, and nor will it lead to a society of undisciplined, spoiled and entitled kids. Discipline is a essential part of parenting, but that should not include corporal punishment,  

Basically, the article was trying to remind people that even though they turned out fine, following in the footsteps of your parents and spanking your kids is not a good idea - you are placing you children at high risk for a strategy that doesn't even work.

That's when I started reading the comments at the bottom of the page:

My mother has (13) bothers and sisters. Each of them have generally had 2-3 children. when we meet every year for our annual family reunion it is a large group. I would say that 80% of the siblings of my mothers brothers and sisters have college degrees and can be described as being successful. The common denominator with all of us...we were all raised being spanked. It's amazing, but you can pretty much look at the kids that are not successful and generally...their parents decided not to spank?

My sister got two spankings in her life. I got one almost every day. Today at 40 something we both have different lives. I have a wonderful family, husband, daughter, grandson. A great marriage of 24 years. Just great. My sister on her second terrible marriage, 4 children, and dead end job- she's an alcoholic. This is the case more often then not.
I think it is time our society stops listening to "experts" and start using some common sense. We put way too much confidence in these experts, each person reacts differently to the same thing. We are not exactly alike so I do not understand why these experts are supposed to know everything.

Spanking is the best way for most children to understand that what they did was wrong and NOT acceptable. Spanking is not beating it is (or should be) a form of punishment. I see kids in public that I would love to spank so the rest of us would not have to be around such brats.

If we all lived by the bible which was written for us by our Lord God who created us then we would not be confused as to how to discipline our children. If we live by his word , we would have better, more disciplined children. Please read the bible folks!!!  Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother

The fact of the matter is, if anybody who was spanked when they were little grew up without having any of these conditions - well - good scientific skills will draw you to the conclusionssion -> spanking is NOT the cause!


Spare the rod spoil the child. Spankings are necessary when needed. No one said beat your child, but they do need disciplined. I am a Kindergarten teacher and I can tell the difference between the children who are disciplined and those who aren't.


I'm not even going to get started on what is individually wrong with all of these arguments (I'll save it for another blog), but what really struck me is that all of the issues brought up in the comments were addressed directly in the article. I was left wondering: "Seriously People?! Has anyone actually read the article, or are we just so wrapped in our own lives that one anecdote means more than the combined evidence of decades of research and common sense?" Then I wrote it as a comment.  Then I posted it.... And then I felt like an idiot. Why? Because now I'm arguing petty points with complete strangers online. And calling people names. And thinking badly of their intellects. And feeling sorry for their poor kids, even though I know nothing of their circumstances. And now I'm writing a rant blog entry on it.
See? Don't tell me that's not idiotic :)

It's such... such a perfect day....

Do you know what I really love about Coldplay? I can't understand what in the world they are talking about! They could be singing about Sex, Drugs and all sorts of things and I wouldn't even know! The nice thing about the lyrics is that they can be interpreted in many ways. Take these lyrics from the album Viva la Vida:
"No I don't want a battle from beginning to end, I don't want a cycle of recycled revenge, I don't want to follow Death and all of his friends".
Are we talking about being scared of death? Of how life is a struggle and just ends in nothing more than death? Or is it a criticism of the "emo" movement, and is trying to show a better way of living? I like it, because I can put in whatever positive messages I like, and that's what the song means to me.
Now lets all go listen to the album right now. Because it's cool.

Journey to the River Sea

My favorite book as a child was “Journey to the River Sea” by Eva Ibbotson. The story is simple enough (a girl travels to the Amazon to live with cousins after the death of her parents) but for me, it was magical. When Maia, the novel’s main character, arrives in the Amazon, she finds that her cousins are trying to pretend they are still back in England, and they live in a shuttered grey world, closed off from the jungle around them. Maia eventually manages to break free of their restraints and finds a captivating world waiting behind the walls. From the indigenous population to the decadent Russian Counts that live upriver, Maia begins to understand from the people around her how to truly live.

I think it’s important for kids to believe in such magical places – those places where courage and kindness mean everything, and where the very world in front of your eyes is truly magical and exciting. This book still affects me in many ways. I crave travel, not to go to beaches or Disneyland, but to see and understand new cultures and people. I’ve since gone back and re-read the book that I’ve read so many times. Honestly, it’s a little simplistic and definitely written for children. But for me at that young age, those words painted a picture I’ve never forgotten, and from then on I’ve always believed that the world is an extraordinary place, if you only know how to see.

My Media Addiction

This weekend I came to the realization of the full extent of my media addiction. Here's the story:
It was like any normal day. I was having a great time learning in my history class (read here: feeling bad about continually nodding off) when I had the overwhelming need to see if my husband had sent me any text messages . But when I reached for my phone.... IT WAS GONE! Surreptitiously, I started going through my bag to try and locate it (I know! Sleeping AND texting AND cleaning out my bag in class! Please don't judge me...it was Friday afternoon). It was then that the truth hit me: I had lost my phone. It was no more beside me to comfort and guide me. A shadow passed over my day, and the world was just that little bit more of a scary place. After class I began to retrace my steps, but it was to no avail. I was alone. Withdrawal symptoms had begun.
The next morning, BYU lost and found called to tell me that they had my phone. REJOICE! During the time that it was missing (... 18 hours at the most) I missed:
1. 8 phone calls from my cousin-friend trying to tell me that she got engaged
2. almost-but-not-quite 8 phonecalls from my mom reminding me that I needed to help set up my sisters nook
3. one pleading phone call from the RS President asking me to help our with some dinners that evening. (Sorry about that Jill)
4. 506,823 texts from my sister trying to organize our exercising plans for the next day
5. love messages from my husband

Being cut off from the world was very difficult for me. I'm still in recovery mode. Pity my addiction....


P.S Sorry for the melodrama and sarcasm. Sometimes I like to try keep the 18th century Gothic novel writer inside me alive.

Twitter

My husband convinced me to get a twitter account today. I created an account about 10 minutes ago and so far I've been impressed - the background is pretty.
I guess I'm not super demanding when it comes to my social media